SPOOKIEST NIGHT IN SINGAPORE

I never get scared easily: last night was an exception.
Some friends and colleagues know that I have this gift of smelling, not seeing other life forms: last night turned out different.

I have been feeling unwell this past couple of days. Different things happened to me. Untimely head ache, and a lot of different aches on the other parts of my body. The last was a sprain that I already felt before jogging at night with my housemate. My bad, I still pushed through the running, which made the sprain worse.

Well last night, I was on my favorite spot on the other room on our place. As usual, speaking with my mom past midnight. This already happened before. I saw a white light pass through the window. I didn’t bother that time because I thought I’m just imagining things. It happened again last night. And this time, I was very sure of the vivid image I saw: an old woman staring at me. I was looking at my phone, head down and when I raised my head up and looked at the window, there she was, just beaming at me. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know what to think and how to react. The last thing I remembered was me going to the office telling my housemates not to stay on that room.

That was just the first straw. I was already lying on my bed, with the lights turned off, not thinking about what happened, when I turned on the other side facing the window and poof! There she was again. I almost screamed. But I didn’t. I stayed calm. What I did was to pretend not to see her and I just covered the window with a sleeping bag. Not a very bright idea, I know. But hey, I just want to sleep! So around 3 am, tried sleeping again, but I can’t. I didn’t know why. I was rolling around my bed for half an hour still trying to sleep. It was not until 4am that I remembered what my dad taught me. “HIM OM TI”, some Latin phrase which helps me calm down since I was a kid. Surprisingly, after I did it, I managed to sleep. And when I woke up this morning, I thought everything was okay, not until after seeing this mark on my tummy while I was bathing:

It was not there last night. Very odd. I don’t feel anything on the scarred area, any burn or sore feeling, nothing at all. It was just a scratch mark. And I feel weird. Well, I believe this is just ROUND 1. I hope this to stop soon coz it’s really freaking me out.

I PROMOTE LIFE: a transformed AIDS Advocate.

Today, I don’t know what hit me.

Was it Marc Nelson’s half naked picture on POSITIVISM’s website?

Was it because I saw Jake Cuenca’s starring on a new indie film (HIV: Si Heidy, Si Ivy, at si V)?

Is it because I am jealous of the participants of Niccolo Cosme’s Project Headshot Clinic?

Or was it because i find Wanggo Gallaga hot?

I’ve thought about the reason and believe it or not, none of these choices became the reason why I’ve a change of heart.

Many people have been suffering from HIV-AIDS or some may know it as HIV or just plain AIDS. And most of them, hiding in shadows, inside their closets. And the number of people acquiring the virus is just increasing.

I told myself: WHY THEM? Why did this virus hit them? These beautiful people? Why not infect the criminals? The rapists? The corrupt? Why them? Well, I can say that these people (HIV positive) didn’t choose it. The virus chose them. Sad but true.

I know people who are Positive, but not on a personal level. When I see them, I see life in a different perspective. Imagine what they have to go through. May they be out or still hiding the sickness with them in their closets, they are still normal people, they deserve to be loved. HIV Positive (or lemme call them HIVP, want to do HVIP this acronym doesn’t match… any way) people should not be loved less. THEY SHOULD BE LOVED MORE. Carrying the infection doesn’t make them less of a person, or a son, a teacher, an actor or a mother. They deserve our love more than ever.

I know I’m just a small voice. Just a normal adolescent thinking out loud. But if more people like me would think the same, it wouldn’t be a hard world for HIVPs. If more people would just open their minds, extend their hearts, then it will be easier for them to fight the disease. Hiding it with them makes it even worse. They deserve love, they deserve us.

Be a Promoter of life!
Spread the LOVE!
Not the Virus!

STAY NEGATIVE, THINK POSITIVE!
www.positivism.ph

*i do not own the pictures, no copyright infringement intended*

BLANK DILEMMA

Waiting for the words to fit
The song to sing
So I could describe the way I’m feeling.

Blank.
Neither good nor bad.
But blank is not a feeling
So I need to decide.

Thinking of you makes me ponder
How I love your smile, your laugh,
Wishing it’s forever.

But forever cannot be determined
Even our “together”
Seize the day, carpe diem or never

I don’t know, I don’t know.
I’m writing with the flow.
But when my day meets dark,
It’s the same dilemma where I lurk.

THE DIET DIARY

And here I am again.
Starting to do this.
I’ve had plans before, but I’ve accomplished nothing.
Well, maybe lost some pounds but gained more.

COMPARE THESE PICTURES:

ME: 2007

ME: 2010

SEE THE BIG DIFFERENCE?

I am not the same “ME” anymore.
I cant wear whatever I wanna wear now.
My peers know that I am always the “fashion guru”.
But now, I am more of a victim than a guru.
I miss the old me.

I really have to be serious about this.
Small steps at a time.

A. Lessen Fast Food intake
Please Mr. McDonald and Mr Long John Silver, please do not come near me. For the next couple of months, I need to let go of you. I know it’ll be hard for us, but I know, we can do this together. But we can see each other sometimes. Once a month isn’t bad right? I know we’ll miss each other: we have no choice.

B. Exercise Regularly
REGULARLY means DAILY, not once a week. If I can’t run in the morning, I’ll just take a one hour walk at night or a 30 minute jog. If I’ll do it daily, I think that’s enough. If I’m not feeling lazy, I’ll just increase the duration. Not bad right?
B1. Do at least 10 push ups daily
B2. Do at least 20 sit ups daily

C. Get enough sleep
According to my blood type diet guide, I should sleep no later than 11pm. But because of my work, I think I cant so I think, just set my clock until 12am max? Not bad eh?

D. Six small meals not three big meals
Since my work starts almost in the middle of the day (11am), eating time should be planned well. So here is my eating schedule (once every 2 hours) 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, 6pm, 8pm, 10pm. But that’ll still depend on my schedule. My target is SIX small meals. It might be less than that most of the time.

According to ABCWORKOUTS, there are six essential nutrients that our body needs in a daily basis. So I just have to get my daily doze of each.

WATER. Drink enough water everyday. Keep myself hydrated. I noticed that I’ve been missing water intakes this couple of weeks that’s why I was not feeling well that much. Since I was a kid, I’ve been using water as a medicine and as a source of energy. I rarely drink medicine when I’m sick, just water most of the time. So I think it would hurt if I do that again right?

CARBOHYDRATES Particularly Complex sugars such as pasta, bread and cereals. Well, that’s where I am getting most of my energy these couple of days. more potatoes baby! But not much, this is where most fats came from. Maybe a loaf or two a day and then some cereals. And by potatoes, unfortunately, i dont mean Fries. Hahaha

PROTEIN Meat, Fish, Eggs and Milk. I drink milk most of the time. So I got this covered. Eggs, well yeah. Meat and Fish, once in a while I eat this.

FATS Polyunsaturated fats. Not Saturated fats. This can be found on fish oils. Most canned tuna has fish oils. My favorite! Should stack more tuna!

VITAMINS AND MINERALSBut how? Vitamins? As in meds? Vitamin C? Fruits? I should figure this out soon.

==============================

I prefer starting this on a Monday. So I’m giving myself November 8 to start. Completion should be early February. Wooo. I can do this.

I’ll keep this Diet Diary up to date as much as possible.

Love,
B

CELEBRATE POET OF SEPTEMBER RUNNER UP AWARD

Thanks for the six people who voted for me.
I really appreciate it.

Sorry if I was not able to nominate,
work is taking much of my time.

But hey,
I’ll make it up to you soon.

Love,
B

YOU

why should it be you,
that I run to?
when the world turn its back on me
when darkness covers my entity,
why should it be you, just you?

why should it be you
that I think of
when I am alone and lost
on the rainbow after the storm
should it really be you?

when someone talks to me about love
you’re the first though in my mind.
It’s just you.
Why should it be like that?
I don’t know.

You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.
Katy’s right.
Once you have tasted perfection,
Comparisons are easily done.
Well, nothing compares to you.

But I thought: everybody’s gone,
And everyone has moved on.
So why should it still be you?