Archive for February, 2011

Love is waking up next to the man you know you are going to be with for the rest of your life for the first time

Guy meets guy. Guy likes guy. They had sex then they fell in love. Yes? Might be. Might not.

Everybody has their own perfect love story to tell or is dreaming for one. And yes, I am one of ‘em people. They say nothing is impossible as long as you’re aiming for it. I say do not be in a hurry: move towards it even if it means taking small steps. You’ll get there eventually.

I got the inspiration to write this after running thru my inbox on an APP in my phone. (It’s an application called JACK’D for PLMe) On one message, JUNO K asked me: “Keen?” (this is a Singlish-gay-slang for “INTERESTED?”) I responded: “Yes, care to be friends?” He said: “FUN, CAN?” then I erased his message. You see what’s wrong with the picture? YES. YES. I know. I see it too. BOOTY CALL.

For most of us, me included, sex is a part of our relationship. ADMIT IT. or not. But what I hate about it is that sometimes, gay guys doesn’t even know the fine line between love and sex. Some even substitute one for the other. Which is the part where it gets scary. Some people get hurt and others, worse. So people, OPEN YOUR EYES. BOOTY CALL aint no LOVE CALL.

So going back, where am I? Oh, the love story. Okay.

“Hey close friend, I think I’m in love with you.”

Yeap. You’ve read it right. I believe that most successful relationships are built on friendship. That way, they will be able to get to know each other first before taking it up a notch. After thorough observations, I’ve come up with two types of the friendship-turned-love relationships. Here are two scenarios:

SCENARIO 1: Guy befriends guy wherein he has an ulterior motive besides friendship.

SCENARIO 2: Guy befriends guy because he genuinely wants to be his friend.

With the two scenarios, I think the later will work better. Imagine someone who knows you for who you are, someone who likes your barf, your laugh, the mole on your nose, who picks on you sometimes to love you for all that? That must be some heck’a love. I might be a little exaggerating but I only speak of possibilities. It can happen.

So there’s still hope for me and for PLMe who’s dreaming for the same. We (might) have yet to discover that our love-in-shining-armor is among our friends we go out with most of the time, or someone who’s been there through our down moments. Both of you might not know it yet, but hey, again, it’s not impossible.

For all the single people out there. Just hold on. Just be happy for what we have now. They say you wont be happy in a relationship if you’re not happy being single. Well I am a happy single so whatdaeff? Bring it on, suckers!

I will just be waiting for my love. Ni jiangyao shouhou ni wu lian’ai.

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(Spandex group shot by Martin Eden)

So you found out that your ex is hitting on someone you used to go out with? And you were like, whatdaeff? High five! You’re not alone sister.

The gay world is really a small world. You’ll know someone through a friend who’s also friends with your other friend only to find out that he’s your boyfriend’s ex lover. Yes people. That’s how complex our world is. I dont say that this complexity makes it harder for us. But this is actually something that may cause trouble in one way or another.

You may ask, why the rant? Well, I just read this morning from my ex’s profile that he’s been going out with someone I used to date. The dating thing didn’t work for us because he’s too busy with his job and I’m equally busy with school way back. So we decided to just be friends and eventually, we lost contact. That time, when we used to go out, he’s the type of guy who has self-esteem issues. He usually tells me that he doesn’t have much friends that’s why he’s a downer most of the time. But now, he’s turned from a zero-to-a-hero. Yeah, you might see him on television specially during Sundays. And he…. okay. That’s already way too much information.

So going back to what I am saying, it really is a small world for us gays. This way, it’s easy for us to make lotsa friends but it also has its negaperks. Seeing someone who used to be special to you go out with someone the same can be a little weird. And what sucks is that you might feel awkward, jealous, sick, angry, sad, depressed. And imagine yourself feeling that as a single emotion. That’s how weird it is.

If you’re in my situation, what say you?

XOXO,

B

SALUTE!

SALUTE!

I know a guy who’s 21. He’ll turn 22 this year but believe it or not, he can say straight to anyone’s face that he has been through lotsa things: love wise.

It’s not everyday that you meet someone who was forced to grow up because he chose to live independently, away from all the good things in life, away from most people. No he didn’t went meditating on the mountains and stuffs like that. He just gave himself a safe distance from the people who love him. The reason? he’s afraid to get hurt. Some might say it’s stupid but it’s his own way of self preservation.

He’s afraid that giving up even a little part of him to these people will make them like him and ironically, after the drill, he assumes he’ll be hurt by them. He doesn’t know if it’s karma or whatever, but things can go awfully wrong most of the time for him.

I know he’s been through 3 serious relationships and of all this relationships, he’s always the one left hurting. I even see him staring on blank space sometimes. I know he’s lonely but I cant do anything to help.

What I like about him is that he never played with the three magic words. He doesn’t say it unless he mean it. So I know that the people whom he said these words to really felt love from him. I’ve been waiting for him to say those words to me, but I think that’s what he always forget. To say I love you to me. I know he does.

Honestly? He’s not bad looking, not that good looking either, I can say he’s average. But he believes that it’s the personality that comes first above anything. What good can a fair skin buff guy do if he treats you bad or if he cheats on you? He’d rather stay with someone who’ll be with him through the bad times rather than someone who’ll stay during good times but will leave him hanging on his worst.

I love his sense of humor. I love how he handles himself in public. I love how he speaks with people and how he makes them feel special. I love the piercing on his ears, his recognizable smile. But what I love most about him, is that he can write this post without even dropping a tear. 🙂

straight ka ba?

Posted: February 8, 2011 in formspring.me

Nope. I’m proud to be a gay man. :))

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Posted: February 4, 2011 in formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thisisbrixx

formspring.me

Posted: February 4, 2011 in formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thisisbrixx

MY MOM WITH MY GRANNY

“NILALANDI KO SIYA. EYE TO EYE CONTACT KAMI.”
(I’m flirting with him. We’re having an eye to eye contact)

YES. Those are the words I’ve heard from my mom. She’s finally a lady. Congratulations MOM! Hahaha. No seriously, not what I’ve expected.

[DISCLAIMER: My Mom and Pop are still together. It’s just sometimes, I allow my mom to go out with other guys. Hahahah. And these are all friendly dates, just for her to meet new acquaintances.]

My mom has been working her butt out in Taipei since i don’t know, I was in first grade I think? And she gets to visit us once or twice every three years. But that didn’t stopped me from being close to hear. In fact she was the first person in the family to know I am a bisexual. It’s funny though. When I told her on a phone call years back: “Mom, feeling ko gusto ko din ng lalaki” (“Mom, I think I like guys too”) her response was very unexpected. She told me: “Okay lang yan, bibilhan ba kita ng mga damit pambabae?” (“That’s okay. Do you want me to buy girl’s clothes for you?”) I was like: “OF COURSE NOT!”. I don’t have anything against cross dressers but it’s just not my cup of tea. And YES. You’ve read it right. Not the typical mother and son conversation. And that even made us closer in more ways than one.

I can still remember some of the moments we shared together.

*You, hitting me when I was four because I bitch-fitted about going to Jollibee. Hey, I can still remember the whole story: You promised me that we’ll go to Jollibee if I sleep that afternoon. Well, I slept but you said we weren’t going anymore when I woke up. That explains the bitch fitting.

*Me, stealing from Auntie Phine’s coin bank and transferring the stolen coins to my bank. But conniving you figured out what I was doing since all of the money on my coin bank was all rounded peso coins (that’s all I can save back then) and you were surprised to see tons of 2-peso coins on my bank. Stupid me didn’t realized that. Yes, I was hurt by the slipper you used to hit me.

*You, crying on my shoulder when you were lost on your way to my dorm in college. That was actually my fault, I asked you to go there. But hey, I was able to pick you up, two hours after, that is.

*You, liking Patrick Starr because I told you I like him so much. You even bought Patrick Starr collectibles for me even if I told you that you don’t need to.

*You, learning how to text, a decade after texting was invented, Last year (2010) that is. The first text I’ve received from you: “Nak kamusta na? I hope you’re doing well with your work.” (“Son, how are you? I hope you’re doing well with your work.”)

*Your monthly phone bills that are waaaaay over your budget because I always give you a call to tell you to call me because I need to tell you updates on my love life.

*You asking how my boyfriend is doing even without me telling you about him. You’ll always know what to say: EVEN IF I AM NOW SINGLE.

I love my mom. I super love her. She’s the most selfless person I know.

I know you couldn’t read this, but by the time you learn how to surf the net, please visit my blog, read this and say: “I LOVE YOU TOO, PEP” even without me hearing.