Archive for the ‘THOUGHTS’ Category

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Maybe why?

Posted: December 14, 2011 in POETRY, RANTS, THOUGHTS
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I’m longing for your skin to touch mine.
I wonder why I’m still here;

Maybe, I’m
Hoping all this hurt’s gonna end
That I can genuinely smile soon

Maybe, if
You and I are together
That we’ll be happy forever

Maybe, then
Only then, will I
Feel complete and contented

Maybe, but
it’s just a maybe.

Maybe not.

When all else fail, I wont.

But I did: to myself.

Words flow inevitably but the right things dont fit coz something’s missing.

I did everything; searched for it, fought for it, but to my demise.
Maybe it wasn’t meant for me, I said.

I tried to be better than everyone but realized im doing it for all the wrong reasons: I should’ve been better for myself.

oh love.

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CLOSET

Posted: October 8, 2011 in THOUGHTS
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Closet. N. A cabinet or enclosed recess for linens, household supplies, or clothing

Yes friends, I am back and I’m returning with a closet. Sorry for those who have been emailing me asking what happened. I am fine, totally fine. In fact, I wanna share some thoughts I’ve pondered upon this past few days.

A closet, as defined by thefreedictionary.com is a small room (or recess) or cabinet used for storage space and I wish we leave it at that. If you know what I am talking about, 2 stars for you.

Recently, some guy added me on Facebook, someone I do not know personally but knew him months ago through friend connections. He’s gay, let’s say, closet gay. Based on my observations from how he act, how he post stuffs and how he projects himself, that he is having a hard time. Having a hard time as his actions are limited, he should be cautious about how he moves, how he speaks and how he wants people to see him. Thinking about it alone gives me a hard time myself and a lot of uneasiness too.

What to do? According to a study I’ve read before, closet gays tend to be more depressed, unhappy, down in the dumps-type. They feel more alone because they got no one (or maybe limited) to share how they feel to. I believe it shouldn’t be that way.

I say EMBRACE THE GAY. We are all afraid, one way or another. But for PLMe, most of the time, it’s always that one thing: FEAR OF BEING RIDICULED. Fear of being rejected by the society, by people, by their family. What? Seriously? Are we still leaving on that time? I DOUBT IT. I see guys holding hands, I see them embracing each other, and some even, kissing, on the streets. Some might be bothered but the majority? I tell you, DOES NOT EVEN CARE. So why the fear? I’m not promoting PDA, what I’m trying to say is, people nowadays are more receptive to things like this so it shouldn’t be an issue anymore.

EMBRACE THE GAY. Afraid your family might be mad at you? Might mock you, judge you? Reality is, they are actually the people who will have your back when the world throws you and laugh at you because of you being YOU. Have you tried opening up to them? Who knows, they might just be waiting for you to tell them about how you feel? There’s no harm in trying. Trust me on this. Though it might not go well the first time, eventually, they have no choice but to get used to it.

EMBRACE THE GAY. We’re living in a time where people are judged not by who they are but on what they can do and what they have become. You will never be ridiculed if you can prove them wrong, that we are not who they think we are, that we are empowered people. That we are as much equal as anyone setting foot on the ground.

These are just some reasons why you should not hide inside the closet, there’s more to life than just the 4 corners of a dark space. People have already EMBRACED THE GAY, HAVE YOU?

When was the last time you took a chance?

A chance to spend time with your love.
A chance to move on a little further with your relationship.
Or even a chance to say you like someone?

You never had the chance?
OR YOU JUST DID NOT TOOK IT?

Regret is one of the hardest things in life.
It is a result of not trying, not taking a chance.

We are all given the chance with things: it’s up to us to step up, to do the next move. But somethings we fear so much that instead of taking the risk, we give up even without fighting for it. We let it go that easily because of the fear of rejection, the fear of losing. But what we do not realize is that it’s the fear of not trying that will scare us the most, eventually.


Why are we so afraid of taking chances with love even though we’re given the right things to start with? SIMPLE. We are afraid that if we succeed with the chance given to us, that we might not be able to live up to what we have fought for in the first place. WRONG. Taking a chance is already a success wrapped with an invisible ribbon. You just need to know how to untie the ribbon, how to remove the layers so in the end, we will be able to enjoy what’s inside this gift; a love worth the chance you took.

I’m writing this coz I want to take a chance with someone. I may not be the perfect guy, but I will try to be close to what he’s looking for. Distance might be something we need to fight against, but hey, we’re still under the same sky. I’m not saying I want him now, at this very moment, but I want to take the risk of saying I want to know him more, and I want to start now. I’m taking a risk, errmm, a chance, coz I think we have a chance.

🙂

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What is it in a brand that we sometimes make it a first priority when buying something.

Most of the people I know are brand conscious. Louis Vuitton here, Louboutin there, Prada everywhere.

Most of the time, we buy it just because of the name, because it looks nice, not because it’s built to last.

Then comes my thought about how this seems similar with relationships. Why are some people more concerned about how someone appeal to them physically and sometimes take for granted those who love them more than anything in the world. Is this how superficial relationships have become?

When i was still in my experimental teen years, Im a hypocrite if I say physical appearance did not matter for
me, it did, in one point of our life (or in some cases, most or all parts of their life). But as i grow old, i realize there is more to relationships than just physical attraction. But why are most people still stuck on their experimental stage? And you’ll ask what the freakin hell is wrong with you?

This, most of the time, is the answer why most of us feel not contented, the reason why most relationships fail. Coz we are not contented, we look for more, just like a brand that changes their line every season. But hey, do we realize its wrong? I bet my arse most of us do not.

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On the other hand, there are some who are blessed to find the perfect fit of stilletoes for them. I am more than happy for these people. They are the ones who are contented with what they have, have learned to appreciate their better half, no matter which season it is. I salute you people.

After writing this, i realized, am I still left on my experimental stage? Do i really prefer someone who will just look good beside me or do I choose someone who will last?

And then I will ask, in this brand conscious world of relationships, which brand are you?