2012 in review

Posted: December 31, 2012 in POETRY

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 15,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 3 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

20 DIY Creative Ideas

Link  —  Posted: August 3, 2012 in POETRY

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Para sa mga banyagang puro dada, puso satsat, wala namang gawa
Kumilos ka muna bago ka kumutata
Kung tingin mo sa lahi ko ay panay alipin at timawa
Magisip kang muli kaibigan, gamitin ang pinagaralan.

Akoy muling sumusulat, kailangan ninyo kasing mamulat
Na kaming mga Pinoy, hindi tarantado lahat
Alam naming may mali sa pamamalakad, sa bansa naming ubod sadsad
Pero pinipilit naming bumangon, ibinabalik ang pangarap noon.

Ang bawat tingin niyo sa’miy saksak, para bang ako’y isa lang palasak
Nagkakamali ka ng pagkakakilanlan, ako din nama’y mabuting kaibigan.
Tingin ng iba ninyo sa ami’y salot, mangaagaw ng trabaho, ang iba, haliparot.
Opinyon niyo yan, hindi ko kayo pipigilan, pero ngayon, makinig kayo, bunganga ko naman.

Mura man ang bayad sa serbisyo namin, hindi ibig sabihin, kami’y tamad na rin.
Tingin niyo ba, pipili ang mga kumpanya ng taong hindi angkop sa posisyon niya?
Nakikita niyo kasi inaagawan namin kayo ng trabaho, paano kayo uusad, eh puro kayo reklamo?
Tanggalin ang mga banyaga sa inyong bansa, sa tingin niyo, kayo’y giginhawa?
Puros kayo dada, wala namang gawa, panay ang tunganga tapos maninira?
Dyan kayo magaling, sarap niyong itali sa baging.

Sa tuwing makikita niyo kaming nagmamagaling, kalimitan, totoo naman din.
Kung ikukumpara sa inyo, aba, oo.
Paano, ang inyong talino, walang kasamang respeto.
Kayo na ang magaling, kayo na ang mayaman, kami naman ay sanay sa kahirapan.
Kaya naming mabuhay sa kamatis at tuyo, hindi tulad ninyong ang nais lamang, bulsa’y mapuno.
Sa inyong palagay, kapag ang inyong bansa ay biglang humandusay, kanino kayo muling tatakbo, hindi ba sa aming inyong mga kapitbahay?

Madami pa akong bala sa inyong mga banyaga, pero hanggang dito na muna ang aking pagpuna.
Baka naman kapag ako’y kumutata pa, bukas, ako’y damputin na sa rehas.

Posted: June 12, 2012 in POETRY, RANTS
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I’ll get over the feeling one day
Today, later or tomorrow maybe.
Once I get the love I deserve,
Once I found what’s meant for me

Leave the pain, the sorrow
then move on with the past
Used to regret the memory
Now all I want is what’ll last

Once believed in us
What’s there, dreams we wished to be.
Now that you’re gone, you left,
All the feelings come undone for me.

The truth might hurt me now
But one day you’ll see
I’ll get over you and forget what was never we.

stay.

Posted: March 11, 2012 in POETRY

sometimes, crying is your body’s way of saying you’re hurt, that’s enough, stop it.

i used to sing “Thinking of You” for someone before. i thought it’s funny coz I’m already falling for another guy when I am still in a relationship but i know it’s wrong so I stopped the feeling coz i knew it wasn’t right. When that relationship ended, it’s already too late to start with the other guy. Must be karma. Is it?

Being that person who has the power to choose between two people is somewhat good. Coz you never lose. Choose A or B, you win either way. But what if you’re one of the choices? Better yet, if you’re the current guy and you know that your someone still can’t get over their past love? What will you do?

It’s a slap in the face knowing that someone you love is still attached to a previous relationship. But what can you do? I say, you have two options. Either run away or stay. It’s that easy. Run away somewhere far so you can easily detach yourself in the “relationship” and move on. Or stay, be there, risk it all and be a man and stay by their side until all the hurt is gone. Or again, we can always run away, we always have that option.

Being second best is better than being nothing. But it hurts more. A LOT MORE. But if you know you’re in that situation, and you know you really love the person, you just have to accept it, after all, it’s part of the package, all you can do is hope that one day, they realize that you’re there for them, that you’ll do anything for them, that you’re a better person coz you chose to stay rather than leave them when you know they’re still hurting. And then, you hope at that point, they realize that they love you as much as you love them.

i can’t finish this now. well, it hasn’t ended in real life either. i hope it won’t. coz I’m choosing to stay.

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Image  —  Posted: February 12, 2012 in THOUGHTS
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A writer of love, dreams,
Faithfulness, all that has been
Composer of rhythm
Loneliness and what once seem

Body is dying
Memory’s a blur
Forget that I exist
Oh please, leave, I insist
Just one last thing
I wish for you to do
Bury me in a love song
Only then will we be through

Posted: February 3, 2012 in POETRY
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and i am singing again :)

Posted: January 10, 2012 in POETRY
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You give a new meaning to this song. 🙂

This is Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years which is one of Twilight: Breaking Dawn’s OST.
This is my current song addiction.
This song is written perfectly and I know this song will be played to a gazillion weddings around the world.
ENJOY!

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a Thousand years
I'll love you for a Thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty I know she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a Thousand years
I'll love you for a Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a Thousand years
I'll love you for a Thousand more
One step closer One step closer

I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a Thousand years
I'll love you for a Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a Thousand years
I'll love you for a Thousand more

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All of this broken melody
Symphony
Flying towards a dark eternity
Oh, why can’t we be
Together in a perfect harmony
Come with me,
Fly with me
Or just leave me hanging in this lost memory
Crying.
Lying.
Dead.

Posted: January 4, 2012 in POETRY
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I’m longing for your skin to touch mine.
I wonder why I’m still here;

Maybe, I’m
Hoping all this hurt’s gonna end
That I can genuinely smile soon

Maybe, if
You and I are together
That we’ll be happy forever

Maybe, then
Only then, will I
Feel complete and contented

Maybe, but
it’s just a maybe.

Maybe not.

Posted: December 14, 2011 in POETRY, RANTS, THOUGHTS
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When all else fail, I wont.

But I did: to myself.

Words flow inevitably but the right things dont fit coz something’s missing.

I did everything; searched for it, fought for it, but to my demise.
Maybe it wasn’t meant for me, I said.

I tried to be better than everyone but realized im doing it for all the wrong reasons: I should’ve been better for myself.

oh love.

Darkness of the Black Void

Posted: December 11, 2011 in POETRY
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My mind wanders to a vast empty void.
No stills, no light, no nothing.
Am I dead?
Or is this just the cruel feeling of being love.less?

Spare me, light an ember to this darkness inside
Coz I’m always the one who needs to hide: this
misery that’s devouring me, I can’t
take no more
Come now,
Before black envelopes me.

I just want to speak up. I know I’m just one voice, I know but heck, I’ll still do my part. If you’re not interested, just move on with your life, I ain’t stopping you. But if you decide to read on and has something to say, then yes, by all means, please comment and share your sentiments. And Rants.

Dear Madam Congresswoman,

How are you?

I hope you’re feeling better so you can face the consequences of your evil-doings. Well, it’s not only the administration who want you behind bars; people living in poverty, people whose family members died because of you, those who accepted election-cash and regret what they did eventually, those who suffered from your administration’s tyranny, let’s say, almost everyone madam, your ex-colleagues included, want the same.

I may not be entirely knowledgeable about the law but I am feeling that there’s something right happening. I salute Secretary de Lima for doing what she thinks is right, even at the expense of her career. She got enough balls so no, Attorney Topacio, we don’t need yours, thank you.

This has opened up different views and issues, specially the ones that your camp is making when in fact, the real issue has gone waaaay behind. What Im trying to say is, it’s not about your Right to Travel or your Right to get ample medical treatment anymore, it’s about you facing trial from what you did, it’s about the Right of every Filipino who have suffered from your government’s oppression. It’s payback time madam.

I can still remember the time when you’re newly appointed, I was a big supporter. I even argue with my friends who badmouth about you. I guess we all make mistakes.

When you left your throne I knew you’ll do whatever it takes to get it back. I know you are trying your best. Parliamentary system? Cha-cha? Didn’t work, right? And when your supporters felt that you’re losing grip, and that the power is shifting, well, madam, where’s their loyalty now? You see, it’s not always about you, sometimes, we will reach a point where it’s a dead end and there’s nothing we can do but face what we’re running from. In your case? It’s the law maam.

I salute your PR team for covering for you for the last couple of years but madam, they can only do so much. I pity Bautista-Horn coz I believe she’s a great asset but unfortunately, she’s on the wrong side of the fence. Yesterday, it’s a bone-problem, today, it’s colitis, what’s for tomorrow? Cancer? HIV? I dunno, I’m just wishfully thinking. You know, as someone who has studied public relations, I have the idea what your people needs to do: cover up for you. But there’s one problem madam, the more sickness and loopholes they say this issue has, the more they create, the bigger credibility you and your team is losing. So think again. And your (READ: PAID) supporters who picket outside St. Luke? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU KIDDING?

Im so sorry I voted for you, one of the worst mistakes I did. But even If I didn’t, I know you have your ways to win. I’m just hoping for the Filipino people (and the government) not to give up getting the truth out, to give what’s due to you, to put you behind bars. You have your rights, what about ours? Well, after all, it’s our rights that were violated first.

Enjoy your remaining time being a free-woman. The clock is ticking.

Regretfully yours,
Brixx

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CLOSET

Posted: October 8, 2011 in THOUGHTS
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Closet. N. A cabinet or enclosed recess for linens, household supplies, or clothing

Yes friends, I am back and I’m returning with a closet. Sorry for those who have been emailing me asking what happened. I am fine, totally fine. In fact, I wanna share some thoughts I’ve pondered upon this past few days.

A closet, as defined by thefreedictionary.com is a small room (or recess) or cabinet used for storage space and I wish we leave it at that. If you know what I am talking about, 2 stars for you.

Recently, some guy added me on Facebook, someone I do not know personally but knew him months ago through friend connections. He’s gay, let’s say, closet gay. Based on my observations from how he act, how he post stuffs and how he projects himself, that he is having a hard time. Having a hard time as his actions are limited, he should be cautious about how he moves, how he speaks and how he wants people to see him. Thinking about it alone gives me a hard time myself and a lot of uneasiness too.

What to do? According to a study I’ve read before, closet gays tend to be more depressed, unhappy, down in the dumps-type. They feel more alone because they got no one (or maybe limited) to share how they feel to. I believe it shouldn’t be that way.

I say EMBRACE THE GAY. We are all afraid, one way or another. But for PLMe, most of the time, it’s always that one thing: FEAR OF BEING RIDICULED. Fear of being rejected by the society, by people, by their family. What? Seriously? Are we still leaving on that time? I DOUBT IT. I see guys holding hands, I see them embracing each other, and some even, kissing, on the streets. Some might be bothered but the majority? I tell you, DOES NOT EVEN CARE. So why the fear? I’m not promoting PDA, what I’m trying to say is, people nowadays are more receptive to things like this so it shouldn’t be an issue anymore.

EMBRACE THE GAY. Afraid your family might be mad at you? Might mock you, judge you? Reality is, they are actually the people who will have your back when the world throws you and laugh at you because of you being YOU. Have you tried opening up to them? Who knows, they might just be waiting for you to tell them about how you feel? There’s no harm in trying. Trust me on this. Though it might not go well the first time, eventually, they have no choice but to get used to it.

EMBRACE THE GAY. We’re living in a time where people are judged not by who they are but on what they can do and what they have become. You will never be ridiculed if you can prove them wrong, that we are not who they think we are, that we are empowered people. That we are as much equal as anyone setting foot on the ground.

These are just some reasons why you should not hide inside the closet, there’s more to life than just the 4 corners of a dark space. People have already EMBRACED THE GAY, HAVE YOU?

22

Posted: September 14, 2011 in POETRY
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I am Number 22.
Well, technically, i turned 22 today. Thanks to my friends who insisted on doing a little celebration. I love you guys.

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But as I grow up, I realize that a birthday is not just about myself. It’s about celebrating who you have become and reminiscing what you have done.

Who have i become?
That’s quite an interesting question. I believe i have become stronger, learned how to be a fighter and to stand for what I believe is right. I have become wiser: I have learned that nothing and no one can stop you if you are determined to do what you want to do and to be who you wanna become. You just need to know how to get through all the struggles and hopefully wish that in the end, everything will be all right. And if it’s still not all right, it means that it isn’t the end yet so we need to keep our fighting face on.

What have I done?
This year, instead of a big celebration, i decided to just be selfless. Sharing my blessings to the people who need it most is the best celebration i can ever imagine.

Today, I’ve signed up to become a sponsor for a child’s education in the Philippines. I signed up with World Vision. I believe that education will be the best weapon someone can have to face the harsh realities and struggles of life. I value education very much and I know tht not all people are as blessed as I am, so why not share mine to them? I will be a child’s (I am yet to know who) sponsor for their education for as long as the child needs it. I know i can stand by this for this is a kind of pledge that I have been contemplating to do for the past couple of months.

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I am just thankful that organizatons like this exist. If they can do it, I am more than willing to do my fair share. I am encouraging my friends, blog friends, random people to do the same. It’s quite a small amount to share but it can go for miles.

I was taught by my alma mater to teach minds, touch hearts and transform lives, well, this is just the beginning. Happy birthday to me 🙂

STUCK WITH THE VILLAIN

Posted: September 12, 2011 in POETRY
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You’re some kind of metaphor
The kind which no one could understand.
But when we met, I tried
I tried so hard to decipher you.

I’m some kind of light.
The kind that shines on the darkest hour.
When we met, I smiled
I smiled and gave up all my light for you.

But I think it’s wrong
It’s wrong to love you so much
Ooohh, not so much.

I am the apple of your eye
Shoulder when you cry
I’ll give up everything for you
I love it when I love you but
Stop thinking that you’re loving me enough
‘Coz what you can’t see
Is that you’re loving yourself more than you’re loving me

We’re some kind of hero
Trying to save each other from our villains
I never get tired of protecting you
Until I realized I have to brawl with you too.

But I think it’s wrong
It’s wrong to love you so much
Ooohh, not so much.

You are best days of my life
But ironically, my hero in disguise
I’ll give up everything for you
I love it when I love you but
Stop thinking that you’re loving me enough
‘Coz what you can’t see
Is that you’re loving yourself more than you’re loving me

I hate it when I’m feeling all crazy about this
When the only reason I cry each night
Is when I don’t know if you still love me as you loved me before
I hate to tell you but, stop.

Stop thinking that you’re loving me enough
‘Coz what you can’t see
Is that you’re loving yourself more than you’re loving me
Stop thinking that you’re loving me enough
‘Coz what you can’t see
Is that you’re loving yourself more than you’re loving me
And that’s where we’ll gonna be.

Stuck.

(Repost from my old blog)

When was the last time you took a chance?

A chance to spend time with your love.
A chance to move on a little further with your relationship.
Or even a chance to say you like someone?

You never had the chance?
OR YOU JUST DID NOT TOOK IT?

Regret is one of the hardest things in life.
It is a result of not trying, not taking a chance.

We are all given the chance with things: it’s up to us to step up, to do the next move. But somethings we fear so much that instead of taking the risk, we give up even without fighting for it. We let it go that easily because of the fear of rejection, the fear of losing. But what we do not realize is that it’s the fear of not trying that will scare us the most, eventually.


Why are we so afraid of taking chances with love even though we’re given the right things to start with? SIMPLE. We are afraid that if we succeed with the chance given to us, that we might not be able to live up to what we have fought for in the first place. WRONG. Taking a chance is already a success wrapped with an invisible ribbon. You just need to know how to untie the ribbon, how to remove the layers so in the end, we will be able to enjoy what’s inside this gift; a love worth the chance you took.

I’m writing this coz I want to take a chance with someone. I may not be the perfect guy, but I will try to be close to what he’s looking for. Distance might be something we need to fight against, but hey, we’re still under the same sky. I’m not saying I want him now, at this very moment, but I want to take the risk of saying I want to know him more, and I want to start now. I’m taking a risk, errmm, a chance, coz I think we have a chance.

🙂

Yes yes. I know. I haven’t posted anything for more than a month. It’s a very complicated month for me but it’s good that everything’s settled so here I am again, sharing random thoughts about the world as I see it. Anyhow, thanks for those who are emailing me, you know who you are guys)

After a very long wait, I am finally sharing this chronicle about my vacation in Bangkok, Thailand last June. I’ll be sharing a visual post so please spare me if you think it’s too long. 🙂
==================================

While at Changi Terminal 2:

I am very fond of planes so when I was almost at the boarding gate, seeing the tarmac, i captured some photos of different carriers near our gate.

AIR ASIA:

CATHAY PACIFIC:

MYANMAR AIRWAYS INTERNATIONAL with another airline at the back:

TURKISH AIRLINES:

A POP AIR ASIA:

So me and my travel buddy, Ann, left Singapore past 5pm and arrived in Bangkok around 7pm, local time. We needed to ride a shuttle from the tarmac to the arrival gate because *INSERT REASON HERE* i have no idea. Good thing that when we arrived, cabs and travel companies doing tours can be easily spotted. Since we’re playing the tourist-adventurous game and I felt like Dora the Explorer that time, booked a reservation for a full city tour around Bangkok the following day. After that, we traveled around 45 minutes to our hotel and man, it was not what I’ve expected: It’s waaaay good than how the place look in pictures. It’s called Furama Xclusive-Sathorn along Silom Road, between Chong Nonsi and Sala Daeng MRT station. It’s not as five-star-ish like the MBS, but hey, for a three-star hotel, it’s not bad. Okay, that’s an understatement. Here are some clicks:

After dropping our things and after enjoying how beautiful our room is, we went to a Siam Square to search for dinner. We rode a TUKTUK:

Ended up eating at this noodle house named, well, NOODLE HOUSE:

The following day, we woke up early to go to the nearby market before preparing for our afternoon tour. Here are some snapshots:

It was actually funny coz the time we went there, it’s election season. I was surprised to see election posters like these:

I found out later that day that these posters are from an anti-government group asking people not to vote. Funny way to put it. 🙂

So for our afternoon tour, we went first to the TEMPLE OF THE GOLDEN BUDDHA. Was too busy taking pictures and forgot what our tour guide is telling us about this buddha. One thing I remembered: IT IS OLD. LOL

AFTER THAT, we went to the RECLINING BUDDHA.

Here’s a shot of the entire figure:

And these are the inscriptions on the foot. John told us something about the meaning of the inscriptions but again, I was too amazed to listen.

Here’s John, the tour guide by the way,

They also have this jars of coins. The mechanics: you need to buy 20THB worth of coins and then put it one by one to this 113 jars (im not sure) and then you’re supposed to make a wish after. Well I dont see any harm in trying so we tried it.

After that, we explored the area to see well, more buddha figures!

There’s even a spot where there are ancient teachings on how to do Thai Massage:

What I just love about the place is how the palace grounds made me feel. I felt im in their ancient civilization-or something to that effect.

Here are more photos of the place:

TO BE CONTINUED. 🙂