HIV-AGE. Are you effing me?

Posted: August 20, 2011 in THOUGHTS
Tags: , , , , , ,

Oh yeah. It’s just HIV-AIDS. Not a big deal. I wont get it and I dont care. So I’ll just do whatever I want as long as I’m enjoying it.

WRONG.

Think about it. Then think again. It’s NOT just HIV. It is a BIG DEAL. You should CARE. And no one’s stopping you from enjoying as long as you’re safe.

Now we’re talking.

I’m talking not about hereditary AIDS, but the “SEX” AIDS, if you know what I’m saying.
Found out a couple of weeks ago that one of my childhood playmate has THE virus. It’s hard to accept that we used to grow up together (at some point in our lives) in a rather small town and among all the people, he had it. I dont know the statistics, but he might be the first one to get it in our town. Kinda shocked to find out.

Reality is, everyone can get it. Specially those who do not play safe.
I’ll get it straight-on and not play with my words.
Seriously, how hard is it to put a rubber before having sex? I mean seriously? Will you take the risk? In the gay world, sex is basically breakfast, or lunch, or dinner-whichever meal you want to associate it with. And sooner or later, you’ll know someone who knows someone who has it, and then you’ll know someone who has it, and who knows? YOU MIGHT GET IT TOO. *knocks on wood*

This is something to be taken seriously. I am gay. And I know the possibility of acquiring HIV is not impossible. I hope people like me sees it the way I do. HIV is not something to be afraid of, it is something we fight against, something we’re trying decades to get rid off and yes, it’s something we can prevent. If only we can be a little less selfish and a little less libidinous.

If you know someone who has it, comfort them, help them. If you’re not sure if you have it, get a test. If you’re safe, be SAFER or SAFEST.

It’s still never too late. Do not let it be.

Voldimyr Alyenkystov

Posted: August 18, 2011 in POETRY
Tags:

I am the best of what defines me.
The leg in legacy.
I am the ultimate beacon of light.
The last kind you’ll ever see.
I am the dream i want to be,
The lost treasure, the fantasy.
I am who i will be,
I will be me, I will be me.
I am Voldimyr Alyenkystov,
I am me, i will be.

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Dear love,

I know I haven’t met you yet, or if we had the chance to meet before and just need to part ways, this letter is for you. I am in my room now, looking at the stars, thinking about how beautiful this night is and how more beautiful it could be if you are beside me. But I’m not in a hurry to meet you, take all the time you want. I know if the time is right, we’ll have more moments like this: more nights to see, more feelings to share. I know now, that patience is my best weapon, against wearying, against loss of confidence, against everything.

While you are gone, I am learning to love myself so when you arrive, rest assured that I can be yours wholly. I am not perfect, but I will try to be the best for you so both our wait will not go to waste. I can’t promise to be with you forever, but I will stay until life allows me to.

You might say I’m cheesy but no, everything I’m writing comes from my heart for you, whoever you are. I know I deserve you, and deep in my heart I know Im worthy of your time, your feeling, your love. Our relationship will never be perfect, but it will be worth the while. We might not have the perfect life, but we’ll make it worthy of living: with each other.

So wherever you are right now, you are on the perfect place, perfect time, and somewhere down the road, our path will join and meet. I promise I’ll hold your hand and won’t let go.

I LOVE YOU.

PS. Please take care of yourself coz I wont be there for you, YET.

Run and Tell

Posted: July 14, 2011 in JUST ME
Tags: , ,

So after shifting to our new place, I have decided to get back to running. So last night, I geared up and started jogging again.

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So I jogged for almost an hour on this route:

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While jogging, I noticed this cute guy jogging in front of me. I ran passed him and while i walk and rested for a while, he ran passed me, then i ran passed him again , which happened for around 3 more times. When he ran and made a u-turn, we were able to see each other and i smiled a little. After that, just continued my running. So much for the first day.

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But what surprised me was when i got home, someone familiar messaged me thru Grindr (Grindr is a mobile app that connects LGBT people to people who are near them). Look at our exchange of message:

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So I was talking to him casually when he said:

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AWKWARD. :))

Im feeling I’ll still see him on my next run. 🙂

I am constantly looking at his Facebook page not just because I wanna know what he is doing but mostly because I want to see him go from IN A RELATIONSHIP to being SINGLE. I do not mean any harm, neither do i do something that stops him from whatever he wanna do. It’s just me, wishfully thinking.

Call me bad or whatever you want to. Hopeless romantic. I really dont know what got into me to be so much into him. Im sorry. I blurt nonsense things when I think about him. So imagine me talking to him (which happens rarely). I even have his memory inked on me. But I’m too shy to admit it because, I dont know, something is stopping me: even that, i do not know what. Stupidity, foolishness, whatever this may be, i know it’s because of one thing: LOVE. As J. Hudson puts it, If this aint love, tell me what it is.

Here I am again. Staring at a blank page. I don’t know where to start but there’s one thing I am sure of: after months, years of everything, I’m sure he’s the only one who can make me feel this way. We knew each other years back but were only given milimoments to talk. Life isn’t fair.

I’m changing for the better: one step at a time. After that night with him, (t’was months back) I know, it’s only him my heart beats for. Call me cheesy or whatever you want to but hey, I’m struck by love’s arrow. And I know no matter how many relationships he’ve had, I’ll still be here waiting for him. I know he doesn’t know about how strong my feelings are but hey, this is something real. I don’t care if he’s in a relationship now or if he’ll be in two or gazillion more relationships. I’m changing for the better: a better me, so that when I get back, he can at least have a reason to consider.

Oh shoot. I’m totally pointless. Or am I just really in love? I dunno. HELP.

Well, this might be it. I’m crazy in love and I can’t do anything about it. YET. I know I am one with the Greeks who believe in soul mates. I already know who mine is. I just need to wait for it. We can go play and do whatever we wanna do with our lives now. But some time, somewhat, somehow, I’m wishing that at the end of the road we are now travelling distance apart lays a road cropped by destiny for us to travel together. I hope. I wish. I love you though you don’t know.

I dare you to let me be your one and only. Promise I’m worth it to hold in hold your arms.

formspring.me

Posted: May 21, 2011 in formspring.me

May Tanong ka? Sagutin kita dali 🙂 http://formspring.me/sexaphil