Posted: September 27, 2010 in POETRY
Tags: ,

Every shadow I meet tells me I’m a positive soul.
I’m losing that depiction.

Now I see every moving thing as a failure.
A failure in one way or another.
That’s exactly how we were created.
To craft a blackhole of letdown so that in the end,
When everything fail, life will just be sucked out of us.
And then comes death.

I said this because I’m a product of different malfunctions that the entire universe set up just for me to bond.
Funny eh? No kidding.
From my roots to my math assignment, everything was a crash.
And the universe laughed again. Stupid.

I tried to study hard, I did not succeed.
I was an open book, everyone tore a page and burned me up.
Offered my heart to be loved, I know someone, somewhere he’s there, but as of press time, he is still not showing up.
Complete disaster. Hysterics came out of the universe.
I just wanna blow it into pieces until nothing’s left of it but gut.

That way, that freakin way,
I can at least, laugh for my inevitable death.

This creation was considered to be on Thursday-Poets-Rally-Week-29-Sept-23-29. I hope you guys like it. =)

  1. Jingle says:

    love your perspective…
    beautiful twists and turns…
    well done!

  2. Jingle says:

    the more you visit and comment, the more feedback you will get, no limit, 18 is a minimum,
    Happy Monday!


  3. dhitzunako says:

    It was like, the world hate us, right?

    Love the way you use some metaphor (open book, product malfunction, etc). Those strengthen the message of of this poem.

  4. Bodhirose says:

    Oh, the despair felt in this poem–captures that so well. It’s hard to “believe” and have faith when nothing in your life is turning out positively but hopefully the darkness will lift and a “light” will show itself.

  5. thewhitebuffalowoman says:

    The book/page line is a really great one!

  6. buttercup600 says:

    I felt the pain in this so much….the despair and how hard it is to believe when things are not going right!! Awesome writing my friend and thanks so much for linking with Potluck!! Your support means so much xx

    • B says:

      Yes. It’s like you dont know what to do after everything turned their backs on you.

      Thanks hun.
      No prob with Potluck.
      Im not prepared for this week’s theme.
      Might join next week.


  7. NotATameLion says:

    nothing’s left of it but gut…

    I love that line. I like this poem.

    Yet…if everything is subject to failure and decay…how have we gotten this far? I sense a mystery.

    Thanks for the poem.

    • B says:

      I know right?
      Kinda weird.
      But the poem was intended to burst out what someone’s feeling when he’s on his lowest low.
      You know what I mean.
      When you cant see the light and all.

      Thanks hun!


  8. oh hoh..what a piece!

    You have what
    someone can take
    The heart will be fine
    When he says – u are mine!
    Words are here
    to be read
    by my dear….

    Ok that wasn’t great. But trying to say that I loved your words.

  9. Jamie Dedes says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to hang in and hang on…

    Nonetheless, I hope you are enjoying your first Rally. Welcome!

  10. vivinfrance says:

    I hope that writing this poem banished the despair from your system. Poetry is usually cathartic for me.

  11. tasithoughts says:

    You really go into a raw place and then tear at it in such a wrenching way to engage the reader. Good job.


  12. Talon says:

    This was a painful read, but there is such honesty in confronting failure….and such torture in believing that the failure was meant to be.

  13. Such passion…these are the words from MY youth. Take heart…life gets better!

  14. Shashi says:

    I good one.. .I liked it… thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  15. Shashi says:

    Loved all three parts of you verse and the words “I was an open book, everyone tore a page and burned me up.” got me. Thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  16. Jamie Dedes says:

    I’m with Sashi on that one line. Wonderful …

    A well-written poem expressing frustration and despair, a place we all visit now and again (it’s the human condition, even saints experience a “dark night of the soul” … I hope not a permenent condition ….

    Good contribution to Poets’ Rally … sorry I missed it earlier. See you again and welcome to Rally … enjoy …

    Poem on …

  17. You are such a great poet….though dark..ha. I am 54 and sometimes, I feel the same way. thanks for stopping by my blog and yes….please do call me Mum. I would be honored.

  18. lynnaima says:

    My goodness, you tore my heart apart, built it up and wham killed it. You had me with every word, awesome!!!!

  19. dan says:

    Your poem, Failure, is awesome. Sometimes it is such a short fall into darkness but it looks like your muse follows you there.

    • B says:

      Thanks much.
      I feel this negative vibe and it gives me the urge to write.
      And after, something like this is coming up.


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